It’s 2:30 in the morning and yet again I am crying. Crying quietly, my face is soaked with tears. I have fucked everything up. I’m a fucking walking time bomb, it’s only so long until I lose control, fuck over my 60 ish days of being self harm free and disappoint everyone all over again. I don’t know what to do or how to save myself. I can’t depend and shouldn’t expect someone else to save me.
Fuck
I need to cut. My chest feels SO FUCKING TIGHT I CANT BREATHE. If I cut I can breathe again for a while. Fuck fuck fuck fuck

I’m listening to flatsound and trying to cry quietly but tbh my nose is snotty and I keep having to sniffle and then a sob comes out and I hate myself like why can’t I stop crying, why can’t I at least cry quietly. I just want to keep the waves of sadness in and stop myself from really looking at them and thinking about it so I guess there are a lot more nights like this to come.

vikingsrph:

I AM ALLOWED TO COMPLAIN

I AM ALLOWED TO CRY OVER SIMPLE THINGS

I AM FULLY AWARE THAT OTHER PEOPLE HAVE PROBLEMS TOO AND THEY ARE PROBABLY WORSE OFF THAN I AM

DO NOT REMIND ME OF THAT WHEN I AM UPSET

MY FEELINGS ARE VALID

I AM ALLOWED TO COMPLAIN

WHAT IS SIMPLE TO YOU COULD BE STRESSFUL TO ME

STOP TELLING ME TO THINK ABOUT PEOPLE THAT HAVE IT WORSE

STOP STOP STOP

(via brandon-schwartzel)